The Internet's No. 1 Blog

Ow.

2010-11-18T10:53:00.000-06:00

Shoulda, woulda, dammit.

I agree!

2010-11-18T10:52:00.000-06:00

I don't know!

2010-11-18T10:49:00.000-06:00

Oden-- Done, again.

2010-11-18T10:45:00.001-06:00

Watch Out Internet!

2010-10-11T15:09:00.001-05:00

We comin' fo you!

I feel bad for the internet.

2010-10-11T12:39:00.000-05:00

Because we just fucked it up!

NRA Endorses Perry!

2010-09-19T21:41:00.003-05:00

"Everyone knows Rick Perry is pro-gun," said Chris Cox, chairman of the National Rifle Association's Political Victory Fund. "The coyote population certainly knows you're pro-gun."

Later on, Perry quipped: "I'm fond of the Second Amendment so I can take care of my family pets."

Perry told a reporter this year that while jogging in February he shot a coyote that he said was threatening him and his daughter's Labrador retriever.

Source: NY Daily News

We're Back!

2010-09-17T00:22:00.002-05:00

In saddle again, and so is Steven.

Bill White the Nazi Chooses Presidential Candidate

2010-03-12T01:43:00.003-06:00

White chooses to support Ross Perot and Pat Buchanan for their bid to become president in the 2000 election.

BIll White the Nazi Leader?

2010-03-12T01:39:00.002-06:00

William Alexander "Bill" White (born May 29, 1977) is the leader of the internet-based American National SocialistWorkers' Party, and former administrator of Overthrow.com, a now-defunct website dedicated to anti-Zionist and anti-capitalist speech. (wikipedia).

Mr. Toad's Top Five Dads of the Last 25 years Countdown List Cont. The Final Edition!!!

2010-01-29T01:09:00.002-06:00

Top Favorite Dad: No. 1!!!, Matthew Broderick. I can only assume his arm is broken due to how much he loves rough-housing with his children!!!!

Mr. Toad's Top Five Dads of the Last 25 years Countdown List Cont. Still Again!!!

2010-01-16T14:53:00.003-06:00

Today's Top Favorite Dad: No. 2 Wesley Snipes. Look how good he is with those kids!

mr. Toad's Top Five Dads of the Last 25 years Countdown List Cont. Still!!!

2010-01-14T20:20:00.002-06:00

Today's Top Favorite Dad(s): No. 3 LBGDJ and Shaq Daddy

Mr. Toad's Top Five Dads of the Last 25 years Countdown List Cont.!!!

2010-01-12T17:19:00.004-06:00

Today's Top Favorite Dad: No. 4 Dmitry Medvedev.

Mr. Toad's Top Five Dads of the Last 25 years Countdown List!!!

2010-01-11T17:32:00.003-06:00

No. 5: Ross Gellar

Stay tuned to the Internet's No. 1 Blog for updates of both Mr. Toad and Mister Futch's Top Five Dads of the Last 25 years Countdown Lists!!!!!!!

Mister Futch and Mr. Toad's TOP FIVE DADS OF THE PAST TWENTYFIVE YEARS

2010-01-08T16:54:00.002-06:00

Mister Futch's list:

5. Glenn Beck
4. Xbox 360
3. God
2. Kurt Russell
1. Condoms

Mr. Toad's list:

5. Ross Gellar
4. Dmitry Medvedev
3. Lebron/Shaq (same team as of now)
2. Wesley Snipes (Vampire hunter)
1. Matthew Broderick

Combined list:

5. Schnapps
4. Blake Callaway
3. Brandon
2. Colin Farrell
1. Vinny Del Negro

Thank you and we hope you agree with us and if you didn't fuck you. Please leave us comments on who your favorite dads of the past twentyfive years are!

Bye!

Fart Blog '010!: First Post 'o' the New Year

2010-01-02T12:10:00.003-06:00

I am reporting to all of you live from Fart Blog '010, which is in my bed as of right now.

Secondly, I just had a little baby fart, which is to be followed by the first dookie 'o' the day(more to follow?!?!).

Thirdly, I hope this year can live up to last year's blog (Fart Blog '09). So let the farts keep rollin' y'all!

Happy farting to you and yours from all of us here at Fart Blog '010,

Happy fartin',

Sincerely,

Dearly,

Love,

Fartin',

Mr. Toad, and Mister Futch.

Fart Blog '09: Second Post

2009-12-31T20:20:00.000-06:00

Just took a ROWDY dump. No farts to speak of.

Fart Blog '09: First Post

2009-12-31T00:11:00.003-06:00

For the remainder of 2009, Mr. Toad and I (Mister Futch) have decided to have a Fart Blog for '09. So I would like to announce that I am proud to be reporting live from Fart Blog '09!

First order of business!

My younger sister Alyssa, head cheerleader of the JV squad at Smithson Valley High School in Spring Branch, TX, zip code 78254 or something like that, has been farting a lot at the kitchen table while completing a book report on William Faulkner's fantastic 1930 novel As I Lay Dying.

Second order of business!

Mr. Toad lied about having, quote, "hella farts," unquote, before coming over to my house tonight. I farted way more than he did. Amen, brother! Bro love!

Third order of business!

Mr. Toad and I (Mister Futch) sincerely look forward to all the farting we still have ahead of us in 2009 and promise to keep all our loyal readers abreast of all farting happening AS SOON AS THEY OCCUR!

THAT'S RIGHT! LIVE FART BLOGGLING FOR THE REST OF 2009!

CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU!

My heartfelt sympathies for you and your family,

Love,

Sincerely,

Mister Futch (me) and Mr. Toad

Favorite Bio, probably ever.

2009-12-15T13:21:00.002-06:00

Alex is an Associate Professor of Political Science living in Bryan, Texas. His likes include fly fishing, camping, international travel, basketball and soccer, indie music and films, annoying and pointless political arguments, wine (and pretty much most alcohols), and making fun of other wine geeks. He'd rather be at the beach.

Who's Your Prime Minister?

2009-12-14T12:30:00.000-06:00

This is what Russia is in the 21 Century

2009-12-14T12:29:00.001-06:00

Big Bad Vlad

2009-12-14T12:25:00.001-06:00

HE DON'T MESS AROUND

I Can't Believe it's December

2009-12-09T12:35:00.002-06:00

The Grey Mouse

2009-11-23T18:53:00.003-06:00

President Designate of the European Council, "Mr Van Rompuy, 62, who has been dubbed the grey mouse because of his colourless, rather introspective personality, had become a favourite for the job among the small, Benelux countries who wanted an administrator, rather than a major figure, to preside over the European Council," reported David Sapsted inThe National.

Happy Birthday, cowboy! (Mister Futch)

2009-11-18T16:15:00.001-06:00

You Know What They Say About Pictures?

2009-10-28T15:37:00.001-05:00

This is how teens experiment with lipstick and get pregnant.

DSL

2009-10-23T13:21:00.001-05:00

Too Good

2009-10-03T21:47:00.000-05:00

HE'S SO SERIOUS.... Trust me

2009-09-30T17:45:00.001-05:00

The Dream Team + Phil Gramm

2009-09-30T17:43:00.002-05:00

Damn. Check those boots and possible Texas Governors, minus Phil

It is a new approach to political shenanigans as old as Texas

2009-09-30T17:38:00.001-05:00

RP to KBH: It's on!

2009-09-25T12:39:00.002-05:00

Good Strategy?

2009-09-24T13:50:00.002-05:00

Let the Slingin' Begin....

2009-09-24T13:39:00.005-05:00

Perry, supporters start the attack.

HL W/O Make-Up?

2009-08-07T11:05:00.001-05:00

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!.... Source: Estefans buying stake in Dolphins

2009-06-23T09:57:00.002-05:00

Singer Gloria Estefan and her husband, producer Emilio Estefan, are buying a "very small" ownership stake in the NFL team, a person familiar with the deal said Monday.

What?

2009-06-15T15:17:00.006-05:00

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 4 days

2009-05-22T14:30:00.006-05:00

Dudes are as excited as I am for my birthday

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 5 days

2009-05-21T12:25:00.005-05:00

SIR CHARLES...

yes/yeah!

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 6 days

2009-05-20T12:23:00.000-05:00

TIGHT

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 7 days

2009-05-19T18:06:00.000-05:00

I hope he grows into those fingers.

Congratulations and God Bless America.

2009-05-19T16:36:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of Yahoo! News:

"Utah boys sets record by keeping 43 snails on his face"

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 8 days

2009-05-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

DENNIS

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 9 days

2009-05-17T15:17:00.002-05:00

Q: Philip Ballard, the new Franklin Pierce?

A: Oh hell yeah/oh no!

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 10 days... 10 days, y'all!

2009-05-16T13:12:00.003-05:00

On my birthday, I want to be as happy as that man who's totally into Mitt.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 11 days

2009-05-15T16:18:00.000-05:00

GROSS.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 12 days.... The Normal Person's Baker's Dozen of Countdown Birthday Blogs

2009-05-14T16:40:00.005-05:00

What the fuck?! That ain't no fuckin' name, yo. That ain't that nigga's name. You can't be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 13 days... The Baker's Dozen of Countdown Birthday Blogs

2009-05-13T21:05:00.010-05:00

NO! HELL NO!

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 14 days (2 weeks!!)... looks like a football score

2009-05-12T16:18:00.010-05:00

Thanks guys!!!

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 15 days

2009-05-11T14:24:00.005-05:00

Wow, Barack! The nigga's name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit. That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 16 days

2009-05-10T13:46:00.008-05:00

HAHAHAHAHA OH NO OH NO OH NO

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 17 days

2009-05-09T14:17:00.006-05:00

I want my birthday party to look exactly like this... Shaun White and all.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 18 days

2009-05-08T13:21:00.009-05:00

This one is way too easy.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 19 days

2009-05-07T14:04:00.007-05:00

These bees are drinking nectar like I'm going to drinking hella booze in 19 days.

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 20 days

2009-05-06T14:31:00.003-05:00

Q: Me on May 27?

A: DUH

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 21 days... (3 weeks)

2009-05-05T08:22:00.006-05:00

For my party, I'd like to be on a scooter with Matty B. in tow (SJP's husband)

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 22 days

2009-05-04T10:51:00.006-05:00

I hope I get this for a twenty first birthday present!!!

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 23 days

2009-05-03T15:57:00.003-05:00

What about this?

2009-04-14T09:05:00.000-05:00

For my birthday...

2009-04-12T13:41:00.004-05:00

I want us to get matching tattoos of this:

You Know Who's Gonna Be Producin' This Album

2009-04-01T17:39:00.004-05:00

Top Five (5) Celebrities I Would Like to Meet/Feature on RPC Boys Tracks

2009-04-01T15:20:00.001-05:00

1. Kurt Russell
2. Frankie Muniz
3. Bobby Flay
4. John Cena
5. Judge Joe Brown
6. Any whiskey

OH NO!

2009-03-31T21:57:00.001-05:00

I NEVER WANT THIS TO HAPPEN

IF YOU GUYS SEE THIS, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD INVITE ME OVER

2009-03-29T20:12:00.003-05:00

Yahoo Top Ten: 3/19/09

2009-03-20T13:21:00.001-05:00

#1: Natasha Richardson

Terrell Owens

2009-03-20T13:19:00.001-05:00

Yahoo Top Ten: 3/19/09

2009-03-19T15:17:00.001-05:00

#6. Brain Injuries

You ain't the only one, buddy.

2009-03-10T15:09:00.000-05:00

You are not.

Ah Hell Yeah

2009-03-10T12:07:00.003-05:00

I NEED HER NUMBER.

March 1, 2009

2009-03-01T10:32:00.005-06:00

David Duchovny: Ed. "DC"

2009-02-21T01:07:00.038-06:00

W. Doak Neal Diamond

2009-02-11T23:20:00.006-06:00

Birth Name: Neil Leslie Diamond.

Also Known As: The Diamond Cutter, The Jewish Elvis.

NO!! NO!! NO WAY!!!

2009-02-09T20:31:00.010-06:00

Tell me it ain't true big guy!

Holy Fucking Shit: The Woz to be on Dancing with the Stars.

2009-02-09T18:11:00.002-06:00

Yahoo Top Ten Vol. 4, Highlights.

2009-02-07T18:48:00.001-06:00

5. Nick Carter

9. HIV/AIDS

10. NASCAR Tickets

I Really Want to Die

2009-02-03T20:32:00.003-06:00

Not so stoic.

2009-01-28T20:24:00.002-06:00

In the third century B.C., the Greek stoic philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after giving his donkey wine, then seeing it attempt to eat figs.

Matt.

2009-01-28T16:48:00.002-06:00

GOD: What were you thinking?

2008-12-06T15:25:00.000-06:00

Was the platypus not enough?

Yahoo Top Ten Ed. #3

2008-12-04T15:24:00.000-06:00

#4 Truth Serum

OH FUCK

2008-11-25T19:35:00.001-06:00

FUCK DAMMIT SORRY!!

FUCKIN SORRY

YOU FUCKED IT UP AGAIN

2008-11-25T10:40:00.001-06:00

YOU DONT INCLUDE THE DRAFTS WE NEVER PUBLISHED THIS IS THE ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-SECOND POST

DAMMIT

The Bicentennial + 3 of Blogs

2008-11-25T00:36:00.003-06:00

We did not mention that The Internet's No. 1 Blog has surpassed the lucrative 200 post mark. We are very sorry that we did not inform all of you sooner! Thank all of you who support us!

HHTY,

Mr. Toad.

Yahoo Top Ten #2

2008-11-21T21:17:00.001-06:00

8. Amish Furniture

Yahoo Top 10

2008-11-19T14:08:00.000-06:00

#5. Grocery Coupons

Being 21 rules!

2008-11-18T21:09:00.001-06:00

I am drinking the one on the left.

One More Day!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-17T13:45:00.007-06:00

Towelman Paper Receives 100!

2008-11-14T14:23:00.000-06:00

Thanks Rusty!

When is November 18?

2008-11-14T13:48:00.004-06:00

I am so fucking anxious!

W. Doak Neal DOB: 5 Days.

2008-11-13T08:33:00.001-06:00

Advent Calendar: W. Doak Neal DOB. 6 Days.

2008-11-12T09:40:00.001-06:00

Advent Calendar: W. Doak Neal DOB. 7 Days.

2008-11-11T17:47:00.002-06:00

I had a hard time with this one. Someone just get me this for my birthday. I searched for "weird 7 up."

You Think I Care?

2008-11-11T11:00:00.007-06:00

About Advent Calendar:

2008-11-11T00:49:00.000-06:00

I love this shit! I cannot wait for day 7!

Advent Calendar: W. Doak Neal DOB. 8 Days.

2008-11-10T19:27:00.002-06:00

Cognitive Consistency:

2008-11-10T11:01:00.002-06:00

Finding people who agree with our beliefs confirms our own beliefs (if we like ourselves, we'll probably like others who share our views.)

That is me so hard.

Ah yeah. It's on its way

2008-11-10T01:34:00.000-06:00

Dear Philip Ballard,

This email confirms that you, philz45, have paid sales@tinyclocks.com $15.98 USD using PayPal.

Payment Details

Purchased From:tinyclocks2003
Transaction ID:6G111891NY445914H

Item #	Item Title	Quantity	Price	Subtotal
140278893278	Mini Clock, Animals, Native American Art, FLASK & WOLF	1	$9.99 USD	$9.99 USD

Shipping & Handling via Standard Delivery to 778XX (includes any seller handling fees)	$5.99 USD
Shipping Insurance (optional):	--

Total:	$15.98 USD

It may take a few moments for this transaction to appear in the Recent Activity list on your Account Overview.

Shipping Information

Shipping Info:		Philip Ballard 2311 Cornell College Station, TX 77840 United States
Address status:		Unconfirmed

If you have questions about the shipping and tracking of your purchased item or service, please contact the seller sales@tinyclocks.com.

Thank you for using PayPal!
The PayPal Team

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Advent Calendar: W. Doak Neal DOB. 9 Days.

2008-11-09T16:07:00.000-06:00

Advent Calendar: W. Doak Neal's DOB. 10 Days.

2008-11-08T21:28:00.002-06:00