The Internet's No. 1 Blog: 2009

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Fart Blog '09: Second Post

Just took a ROWDY dump. No farts to speak of.

For the remainder of 2009, Mr. Toad and I (Mister Futch) have decided to have a Fart Blog for '09. So I would like to announce that I am proud to be reporting live from Fart Blog '09!

First order of business!

My younger sister Alyssa, head cheerleader of the JV squad at Smithson Valley High School in Spring Branch, TX, zip code 78254 or something like that, has been farting a lot at the kitchen table while completing a book report on William Faulkner's fantastic 1930 novel As I Lay Dying.

Second order of business!

Mr. Toad lied about having, quote, "hella farts," unquote, before coming over to my house tonight. I farted way more than he did. Amen, brother! Bro love!

Third order of business!

Mr. Toad and I (Mister Futch) sincerely look forward to all the farting we still have ahead of us in 2009 and promise to keep all our loyal readers abreast of all farting happening AS SOON AS THEY OCCUR!

THAT'S RIGHT! LIVE FART BLOGGLING FOR THE REST OF 2009!

CONGRATULATIONS AND THANK YOU!

My heartfelt sympathies for you and your family,

Love,

Sincerely,

Mister Futch (me) and Mr. Toad

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Favorite Bio, probably ever.

Alex is an Associate Professor of Political Science living in Bryan, Texas. His likes include fly fishing, camping, international travel, basketball and soccer, indie music and films, annoying and pointless political arguments, wine (and pretty much most alcohols), and making fun of other wine geeks. He'd rather be at the beach.

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Grey Mouse

President Designate of the European Council, "Mr Van Rompuy, 62, who has been dubbed the grey mouse because of his colourless, rather introspective personality, had become a favourite for the job among the small, Benelux countries who wanted an administrator, rather than a major figure, to preside over the European Council," reported David Sapsted inThe National.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!.... Source: Estefans buying stake in Dolphins

Singer Gloria Estefan and her husband, producer Emilio Estefan, are buying a "very small" ownership stake in the NFL team, a person familiar with the deal said Monday.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Philip Ballard turns 21 in 15 days

Wow, Barack! The nigga's name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain't his fuckin' name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, "Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit. That ain't your fuckin' name." Your momma ain't name you no damn Barack.