First Comment!

Mr. Toad and Mister Futch would like to thank all of you who read the Internet's No. 1 Blog. We would especially like to thank Nick Hennies. Mr. Hennies is our first reader who commented on one of our posts. So, this is my way (Mr. Toad) of saying, hella hella thanks Nick! You truly have helped continue to make this the Internet's No. 1 Blog! And if I have the chance to write the 100th blog, I promise....promise it will not suck. So, thanks for making the Internet's No. 1 Blog your choice for blogs. 

Mr. Toad 

Sorry You Guys

I was wrong about the "100th" post. It was actually the 94th post. This has to be the sorriest I have ever been in my entire life. So sorry guys. 

SSG, 

Mr. Toad

Bill Pullman/100th Blog!

Oh man....Bill Pullman...Oh man. 

I would like to thank everyone who has stuck with  The Internet's No. 1 Blog on our way to the century mark of posts. You truly have made this The Internet's No. 1 Blog!

Hella Hella Thanks Y'all, 

Mr. Toad 

Bill Pullman Sighting I: UH OH

Worse.

Definitely Worse by Mr. Toad.

My Life is Either that Much Better or Way Worse.

Brady <3 Brett. 

The John Corbett Report

I am so happy!

Mothra...

A new film by friend of The Internet's No. 1 Blog, Joseph D. Mitchell.

Wesley!

What are you doing?!?!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I do not regret many things in my life either.

That last blog, Mister Futch....that is one thing I do regret. 

I do not regret many things in my life.

I have never been more disgusted in my goddamn life.

I have heard it.

Not so good.

Neil Young's...

Album, "Trans" is SO good. Have you listened to it? 

What was that...

Blog about? 

It is shortly before one o'clock, Monday afternoon.

Eli and Co.

Eli's wife and extended family! SO juicy 

BIG BEN

Apparently, Ben Roethlisberger not only loves being sacked, he loves being drunk sitting next to Carson Daly. 

Young Dan Marino

WEIRD.

Congratulations

Super Bowl MVP, Eli Manning got married this past weekend. WTG ELi! 

DOUCHE

Ben Affleck is the answer 

Touchdown Jesus.

Classic.

Evan Shimek

Evan, that is all. 

Celebrity Wisdom Corner III: Charles Guiteau

"The doctors killed Garfield; I just shot him."

Celebrity Wisdom Corner II: Robin Williams

"Cocaine is God's way of telling you, you're making too much money."

If this is really the cover for C3, I will go apeshit.

This is too juicy.

Mr. Toad and Mister Futch present:

A three-way deathmatch between Samuel T. Mott, Timo, and the guy who drives a black Chevy. Starts at 9 PM. Admission is $7. Kids get in free.

EDIT: This is our 69th post.

Sam V. Timo V. other BF whose name I don't know, but drives a black Chevy

Two B/Fs, not even one year. Girl has issues. Watch out Sam. 

Sam vs. Timo

Sell tickets to this. I will referee for a fee.

Sam's new "friend"?

 Heather left most.
Well, looks apparent Sam T. Mott might start dating my neighbor, Heather Wallace. For all of you who do not know Sam, he is one of my very good friends who I had the privilege of living 5 minutes from and going to high school with. Let's just hope these two kids can make it! 

Corbett Sighting II

I saw John on my Northern Exposure Complete First Season DVD last night. I am currently bidding on the Complete Second Season.

John Corbett

Totally saw John in a Trisha Yearwood music video today. It was weird. 

Greg + Woody= SAME PERSON

Greg Norman and Woody Harrelson are the same person. 

Tha Carter III

If I was to be honest (with myself, with my family, with the world), I mean, If I was to keep it real, everything would know that the album I'm the most giddy for at this point would be Tha Carter III by Lil Wayne, due out May 13 on Cash Money/Universal/Young Money. Here are my thoughts on the two 'street singles.'

First (1st): What the fuck is a street single?

Second (2nd): "Lollipop" got that T-Pain vocoder shit going on.

Second point One (2.1nd): Fuck T-Pain.

Third (3rd): "Lollipop" is kind of gay. It will probably get some guys laid.

Fourth (4th): Not me.

Fifth (5th): Worse songs.

Sixth (6th): There seems to be some debate as to whether the title of the other single is "I'm Illi" or "A Millie."

Seventh (7th): It's "I'm Illi."

Eighth (8th): Rules.

Ninth (9th): The 'instruments' are some dude saying, "I'm illi," so cut up and fast it stops sounding like anything but electronic beeps.

Tenth (10th): "It's like the beat was screamin' 'murder me'/and I'm a murderer/so I murdered it."

Lil Wayne on his single "Lollipop."

"Dudes are gonna hate this one... Ugly dudes, that is."

Apagar

To put out. 

That is what I want. 

Timo Sighting

Saw Timo again today. Second time as in as many days. Uh-oh.

Timo Sighting

Saw Timo again today. Second time as in as many days. Uh-oh.

Favorite phrase

Hella Hella Yeah Y'all. That is my favorite phrase probably ever. 

73?

LIAR

55 POSTS

YEAH FUCK YEAH

dfgadfgadfg

adfgadga

53 Blogs!

Whoa you guys. We are now on our 53 post! I cannot believe this! Thank you SO much for reading The Internet's No. 1 Blog. Thank you for making this the Internet's No. 1 Blog.

Hella Hella Thanks Y'all!,

Mr. Toad

New Blog Speed Record

The Internet's No. 1 Blog just set a new Blog Land Speed World Record. Congratulations, you guys!

BLOG RECORDS!

4 Blogs! 3 Minutes!

DEAL!

How about after Spanish?

That was...

Basically the gayest blog post.

Whoa!

That is juicy. Call me and tell me about it!

More Library Times

I saw Timo's ex, Heather (who is my neighbor) in the library today too. Hope they didn't see each other. Things could have been bloody! 

Fuck.

You.

Fine.

Asshole

No.

Is what the answer is.

I was at the Library... Sorry!

I didn't pick up when you called me this afternoon because I was at the library. Sorry. Can we still talk about Timo later? 

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING MISTER FUTCH?

What are you talking about? How dare you bring that fat lezbo on our blog. HATE YOU HATE YOU.   What were you thinking!?!?!

WWYT?, 

Mr. Toad

Rosie

"And still, we’re the only nation that’s ever used nuclear atomic weapons on human beings. We did it twice. Hiroshima, Nagasaki."

- Rosie O'Donnell


THINK ABOUT IT!

40th Post, You Ethiopian Cocksucking Bastards.

I would just like to congratulatesss us on this fortieth blog. Fuck all y'all. Love this shit. Make some noise. This is truly the internet's No. 1 blog.

Yeah/Yes,
Mister Futch

GOD IS GOOD.

MAYBE HE WILL GET ME A NEW PHONE TOO.

WHAT?

HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?

This cat is so high.

R.I.P. Mister Futch.

Sorry I didn't pick up this afternoon around 4 something. I did not know that you were going to be dead. I have seriously tried calling you like...13 times or something in that neighborhood, but I either get a busy signal or some computer-woman tells me that you are unavailable and it was certainly not your voicemail. I...am...SO....sorry that I did not pick up. Sorry you didn't make it to 21 or get to lose it. SORRY

PAUL

CH Dogg out...Magnum P.I.in?

Well, Charlton is dead....still. Since he is no longer President of the National Rifle Association I guess we can pry his gun from his "cold dead hands". This leaves the door open for a new leader of this illustrious gun gang. Last I heard, Tom Selleck was being groomed for the head of the NRA. Let's keep our fingers crossed! Come on Tom, C'mon Tom! 

R.I.P. MOSES, 84.

Charlton Heston died tonight, April 6, 2008. He was the star of such movies as: The 10 Commandments, Julias Caeser, Ben-Hur, Planet of the Apes, Genghis Khan, The Omega Man, True Lies, The Four Musketeers, Wayne's World 2 and Soylent Green. He was also the President of the NRA from 1998-2003. Charlton stood up for people if it was defending the Israelites against Yul Brenner, defending the National Rifle Association against anti-gun agents, or even trying to help human kind against the imperial apes. Charlton ruled. Thanks for the memories Charlton! 

Jeff Daniels Cousin

This is my half cousin, Tim Monfort. He looks like a young Jeff Daniels. He is awesome. He just got his Aggie Ring. This means he has completed at least 95 hours of class. Way to go Tim! WTG! 

Username

MotherFNBosox45

Let's Do This. Ok?

Who wants to party? 

I Hate Myself

Bobby Brown is going to be on the CMT Awards. I'm not kidding. I would never lie about this. 

MBXX

MBXX, MBXX, MBXX.

MBXX, MBXX.

MBXX.

Don't know if I should believe this

I just saw a Willy Nelson music video. It co-starred Luke Wilson, he's cool. Why not Luke? WHY NOT? But, the thing that gets me... I think Rob Thomas was the bartender in the video. I mean, looked like him, but only only saw him for like 3 seconds. That is not long enough for me to know if that was Rob or not. I need more time. I NEED MORE TIME! This is either Rob's bright spot in his career or lowest. Remember how big MBXX was? Yeah. They were HUGE! ROB! WHAT? Really don't know what to think. 

One more thing Futch

You thought "unconscious girl" was part of a Tom Petty song.  You are an idiot. 

A What is Up to Mister Futch

My new sandals are cool. So, you can shut the hell up. 

Comment to Mr. Toad about "New Sandals"

No one cares about your goddamn sandals. GET OVER YOURSELF.


Mister Futch
This was posted by Mister Futch at 9:48 PM

First blog of April: "New Sandals"

What a way to start out with April. "New Sandals"! 

Crazy yall,

Mr. Toad

New Sandals

Yes, I bought these sandals because the bottom rules.