Gettin' Se}{u@|

Your wife loves huge cucumber but the trouble is that you have small one. Today you can enlarge your banana size. You will be a king of bed sure enough.

First Sentence of "Unconscious Girl"

I thought it was a Tom Petty lyric.

Unconscious Girl

She likes horses, Colorado Avalanche hockey, sleeping and being drunk. Those are her interests. All of them. Any takers? 

http://www.bebo.com/savvsa4

Rebuttal to Mister Futch

I know that blog sucked. Tell me about, I know! 

Po-LICE

Guys....you guys.... Today...today was nuts. I got pulled over twice and only got one ticket! Awesome!/sucks. What-a-day, yal'l! 

Note to Mr. Toad.

Your last post fucking sucked. The best part was when the font changed.

Robert Downey Jr., what's up?

Robert Downey Jr. is the star of the new movie, "Iron Man". I cannot believe Jonh Favreau, the director of this movie would fall for the oldest trick in the book. Dude, totally fell for RDII's boyish charm. The man who was famous for doing drugs just last decade and also appearing on Ally McBeal is now Iron Man. I am pissed. Now, they lett Rabbie be the invincible Iron Man. He is totally going to rule the world. He will be able to fly, get shot at and not die! SHIT. This game....this is not even a game anymore. RDII is now going to do drugs, do whatever he wants. He's probably gonna bring back Calista Flockhart and they will rule the world. With Calista's hot to so-so looks and engagement to Han Solo, there are no words that can describe crap that will go down. 

Today's No. 10 Search on Yahoo.com

Dementia.

Baker's Dozen of Posts

This is the 13th blog. This a baker's dozen. This is a huge milestone for any blog! We are so happy. Mr. Toad and I (Mister Futch) are so happy. I would like to thank each and every one of you for helping make this blog The Internet's No. 1 Blog! Thank you! I would like to give a "shout out" to all of our friends in RL and also on the Internet. We have met so many fun new faces and email addresses. Best friends for life, y'all.


BFFLY,

Mister Futch

A regular dozen, not a baker's dozen.ly

This is the 12th blog. I would like to give a "shout out" to my friends in San Marcos. You truly have made this the Internet's No. 1 blog. Hella hella thanks yall.

Mr. Toad. 

Holy Roman Shit!

Frist Instants off the Ewe's Egg of the Ward "Blogaloglog"

Séamus Seoighe, Finn! Again! Is Awake!; Nineteenth hurdy-nein.

First Instance of the Usage of the Word "Blog"

James Joyce, Finnegans Wake; 1939.

New Old Wall Hanging For The Living Room

Detail:

George

In 1976 he recorded his debut album, the eponymous George Thorogood & The Destroyers with his band, The Destroyers (sometimes also known as The Delaware Destroyers or simply GT and D).

Madame Curie Fan-Fiction Which I Wrote

There are two women clad in white, performing experimental tests. One’s eyesight is not so good so she compensates. The other, maybe she is Marie Curie studying radioactivity. Both are anxious for the outcome; obvious Nobel Prize contention being the reward for a positive test. But, ah, where is Pierre? The women are more anxious concerning the absence of Curie’s husband, the imminent physicist Pierre Curie, whose earlier work with magnetism catapulted him to a sort of fame. The two women piggybacked their way on his success, obvious stigmas associated with female scientific work, to gain access to the laboratories required to explore the areas they wished to. But how would Pierre react? He certainly didn’t know. Pierre is going to be so pissed at them. They earnestly hoped that Pierre’s inevitable discovery of their commandeered lab would be long past the discovery of their own forbidden relationship. Alas, it was not to be as Pierre, using the nose he was famous for, detected strange odors wafting through the house. The man was a bloodhound. He burst through the doors upon the women, furious. Madame Curie could only think of one thing to say:

-Please, Pierre, don’t dump me. I still love science.

HELL YEAH!

Sonny

My Food Network Show

After watching the Food Network this weekend, wherein Giada De Laurentiis made a chocolate chip cookie loaf formed into a very weiner-looking thing with her hands (best part of my weekend) and due to the Facts that: I am at least as Charismatic as any current Food Network chefhost and have access to the Internet, I have decided that I would like my own half-hour Food Show. The following are some simple ideas for names. Concepts which I feel need to be explained will be. Thanks to Nick Hennies and Bobby Flay (who inspirationally hosted "Chillin' & Grillin'").

Food Show
Yummers!
I Fucked This Up with Wesley Neal
God Dammit Why Did This Happen
W. Doak Neal's Guide to Biscuits: Grands and Golden Layers
How Much Bread Can I Eat?
Cheese: Just Buy Jarlsberg
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
Everything In The Studio Is Frozen
Broilin' & Oilin' (I rub guys up and down with oil and broil things)
Cookin' & Bookin' (I cook and read at the same time; only Nobel Laureates)
Grillin' & Billin' (I charge people for things they want me to cook)
Bakin' & Achin' (I bake and recount former loves)
Bakin' & Bakin' (Hour-long; I invite two guests who smoke pot for half-an-hour each, there is no food)
Bacon & Bacon (Hour-long; I try to cut off all the fat from two strips of bacon, maybe this could be a made-for-TV movie)
Litmus Test (I reduce women to their preferences for different dishes)
Leather Jacket (I cook one)

The S t e v e Report

Weclomee to th steve REport. Here I will recount thin's my Llatinn teachr has said or dnoe witch were humorous. We love Steve so please:

Dont' be haitn'

.

!

Steve Jones: Why you hatin'?

Steve Jones, c'mon.